I saw Santa!
The holiday season is officially upon us and I'm sharing a nostalgic Christmas memory with you to bring a smile to your face!
Today's true story happened back when I was probably about 4 or 5 years old. It was Christmas Eve. Well, probably technically early Christmas morning. Not a creature was stirring in the house except for me. While I had been sound asleep in my very stylish Mrs. Claus nightgown and cap, I was soon awakened.
Not by a clatter out on the lawn but by the very distant sound of Santa's sleigh bells. Yes, the sound of Santa's sleigh bells in the midnight black sky. I ran over to the window and tore open those curtains. I'm surprised I didn't rip them right off the wall.
I sh*t you not - when I pulled back those curtains, I totally saw Santa and his sleigh pulled by reindeer flying across the midnight sky that night. Honest!! I saw a miniature sleigh and tiny reindeer way off in the distance, flying back to the North Pole.
What happened next was most definitely NOT appreciated by my mom or grandparents, who were staying the night so they could experience the true magic of a Christmas morning with some beyond hyper kids at the crack of dawn. I don't like to disappoint so they got to experience that craziness this year waaay the f*ck before sunrise!!
I was so freaking excited by the vision of Santa and his sleigh in the crisp night sky that I vomited. All. Over. The. House. As I ran around screaming "SANTA! I SAW SANTA!! SANTA! I SAW SANTA!!" Puke. Scream. Vomit. Scream again. Puke some more while running to check out what Santa left under the Christmas tree.
I'm not going to tell you how old I now am but to this day, I still vividly remember what I saw. And it was f*cking Santa Claus in his sleigh flying past my neighborhood. If only my parents had the opportunity way back then to order some Rudolph Poop cupcakes and swap them with the cookies that I had left out on a plate for Santa. I surely would have devoured those cupcakes and then puked some more. And I'd probably still believe in Santa to this day!
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Ready to place your order? Email order@thevulgarvegancupcakes.com with your pick and we’ll get you on our holiday list!
The Gingersnap
